I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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