Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize