Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
