I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
