If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
two words: eviction party
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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