I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
