You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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