Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
