The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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