...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
