Plan B is the new Plan A
Yo dont text me then not text me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
