I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
