i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
