My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
