Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
