i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
