it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
