ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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