So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
