I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
