imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
