What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I will pee on everything he values.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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