2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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