Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
