Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
