Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
