I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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