that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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