i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Can you bring me the toilet please
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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