so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
