this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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