i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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