Who wears a wallet chain?!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i believe in u and ur pee
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
