I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
