He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
