i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
