is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
