im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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