Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
