Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
