So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
