While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
