He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
