there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
