sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
