Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
