repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
