someone owes me an orgasm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
