I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
