Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
