it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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