She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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