Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
