Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
