I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize