after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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