Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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