so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
