I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
