I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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